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Bourgoise Guide To The Phonetic Alphabet

The Donkey — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:10:33 +0000

We’ve all been there. You hear your assistant on the phone reserving your bungalow in Antigua for the week and when she gets to the name and credit card information her phonetic alphabet skills are lacking to say the least.

Example

Travel Company: “And the name on the card?”

Assistant: “It’s C and is Carol, L as in Long, A as in Alice”

And so on. Both boring and un-inventive. We can do better here. Let’s take this opportunity to really make that person regret their career path, or mid-class upbringing. Next time try our phonetic alphabet.

A as in Aisle

B as in Biznitch

C as in Czar

D as in Diarrhea

E as in Eureka

F as in Fornicator

G as in Gnat

H as in Heir

I as in Insipid

J as in Jicama

K as in Knife

L as in Lysergic

M as in Mnemonic

N as in Naughty (say it like you mean it)

O as in Ornery

P as in Pterodactyl

Q as in Quixote

R as in Rural

S as in Sphincter

T as in Tsunami

U as in Uh Huh

V as in Victimized

W as in Whore

X as in Xerxes

Y as in Yolks

Z as in Zits and Giggles

How Embarrassing. I Almost Wore That Today.

The Donkey — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:55:50 +0000

Shady Ass Vans - The Beachcomber

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Damn Free Pancake Day At IHOP!

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The Drunk-Shirtless-Old Sailor Is So Cliche

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Everyone Poops (and takes sexy pix with it, right?)

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Does This Increase Or Decrease The Value?

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Oh. It. Is. On. SIGN FIGHT!

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Sup?

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Best Timing EVER!

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